TW for references to self-harm, suicide, and sexual assault. I’ve hardly slept since we came here. I don’t feel safe. I’m always looking over my shoulders. Even with Reiner and Bertholdt around, I’m still nervous. Probably because I feel so detached from them. They’ve done so much without me… Being around Marco isn’t easy, but he knows and he’s giving me space. I appreciate that. Kay, on the other hand, is trying to...but I know she wants to get along better. I don’t hate her anymore, I’m not afraid of her anymore, but she’s part of the reason I’m barely sleeping. Nightmares. Every night I wake up in a cold sweat from yet another nightmare. Sometimes it’s a memory, sometimes it’s fictional, sometimes it’s a mixture of the two. And sometimes Kay is in them. Other times Lance Corporal Levi is in them. Whenever he decides to harass me in my dreams it ends in my death, and he’s always the one to deal the final blow. He looks like he enjoys it too. I don’t blame him. I

TTK Chapter 54: Intermission 5, The Forgotten by TaoAndThen, literature

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TTK Chapter 54: Intermission 5, The Forgotten

Trigger warning- mentions of self harm I think Marco and I are the only ones who’ve been totally compliant from the start. I can understand Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt being suspicious of anyone trying to squeeze more information from us. And I can understand that Ymir is just a bitch. But even though I have every intention of using what I know to take those bastards down, some things I’m hesitant to say. Not ‘cause I don’t want it to be known, but...I think certain people should know first. And I don’t trust the MP not to take action that could hurt innocent people, not now that the CMP isn’t running

TTK Chapter 54: Intermission 4, The Hopeful by TaoAndThen, literature

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TTK Chapter 54: Intermission 4, The Hopeful

I thought I’d lost my entire family after my parents died. Losing my family was my motivation. Seeing my mom die was what inspired me to fight. But we won’t be doing any fighting for awhile, and now I’ve learned I do have other living family. Distant, but still family. It was strange meeting him, and even stranger hearing him talk about my dad. It’s a little comforting though. The world feels a little less...lonely. Then there’s Gloria. She was a soldier like me, facing the same enemies as me. Would she be proud? It’s weird to care since I’ll never know her, but I’m still curious. A

TTK Chapter 54: Intermission 3, The Patient by TaoAndThen, literature

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TTK Chapter 54: Intermission 3, The Patient

I thought I would feel anger. I should feel anger. But I don’t. Empty is a more fitting word. Everyone else is shaken, scared, confused, traumatized. And very angry. Not me though. Why not? Nothing has been taken from me. Or perhaps that’s the problem? Perhaps I have nothing to lose, nothing to give. And watching everyone else suffer as they have is showing me how empty I’ve been from the start. I don’t know who to turn to. Rarely have I let Eren see me in a vulnerable state. I’ve always tried to stay strong for his sake. But more and more I’m starting to feel he doesn’t need me to. --- Wal

TTK Chapter 54: Intermission 2, The Queen by TaoAndThen, literature

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TTK Chapter 54: Intermission 2, The Queen

TRIGGER WARNING- Mention of rape and forced pregnancy Many times I felt that pissing myself was a completely appropriate response to the situation before me. Those situations usually involved Titans, things which would terrify anyone. And now, here I am, trembling like a frightened child at the notion of speaking to a crowd of humans. Not Titans, humans. Why is that so terrifying? They don’t pose the same threat to my life that Titans do, or so Nile Dawk claims, but while they can’t fight back they can talk back. They can argue, tell me I’m wrong and call me a fraud, say I’m a puppet, call me out on being inexpe

Twisting the Knife Chapter 53: Ready or Not, Rise by TaoAndThen, literature

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Twisting the Knife Chapter 53: Ready or Not, Rise

Wall Sina, Military Headquarters, August 16th, 10:19 AM The day following the trial and funeral was spent buried under mountains of paperwork. Zackley would need a replacement, something requiring consensus from all current military leaders. Erwin would also need a replacement, something the Survey Corps would need to decide upon. Saskia’s squad couldn’t be formalized until a new Commander-in-Chief was chosen, leaving the quasi-cadets in a legal limbo. Historia would need to be coronated, but there were doubts about how willingly the people would accept a soldier as their queen. Regardless of who became what, the

Twisting the Knife Chapter 52: Forward by TaoAndThen, literature

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Twisting the Knife Chapter 52: Forward

Wall Sina, Military Headquarters, August 14th, 4:38 PM “This is both a barbaric practice and a complete waste of time in my opinion, but protocol is protocol. You understand that, don’t you Saskia?” “I do.” “It’s nothing personal, at least not for me. I just want to know what really happened, I’m not out for your blood. And I’ll do my best to convince Nile he shouldn’t be either.” Pixis went towards the large double doors of the courtroom, Saskia watching him quietly all the while. “Cooperate and this should be over with swiftly.” He pushed his way through the w

Twisting the Knife Chp 51: Resolve by TaoAndThen, literature

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Twisting the Knife Chp 51: Resolve

Wall Sina, Military Headquarters, August 14th, 12:58 PM “She’s still not talking.” Nile slumped down at a table in one of the many now vacant offices, all formerly occupied by dead CMP underlings. “Not that she has much to say. The scene speaks for itself.” “Like hell it does!” Pixis, seated across from the younger Commander, replied sharply. “It couldn’t have been murder. I refuse to believe it.” His tone wasn’t angry, rather one of a wise mentor gently scolding a young student for making rash decisions and assumptions. “You didn’t see what I did! And we both

ValiDating (AU!AnniexBPD!F!Reader) by TaoAndThen, literature

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ValiDating (AU!AnniexBPD!F!Reader)

Content warning- portrayal of borderline personality disorder and its symptoms including but not limited to splitting (the 'I hate you, don't leave me'), depression, self-destructive behavior, mood instability, low-esteem/self-loathing The third time. This was the third time. The first time? An honest mistake in scheduling, it happens to everyone. The second? Something came up last minute. Again, it happens to everyone. But this time? Car trouble ? Was that really the best excuse she could come up with? She wasn’t even trying anymore! She wasn’t putting any effort into hiding her intentions. Annie was cheating. She

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